Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I jogged alone in school today. Achievement. That was actually before 12am, so technically I should mentioned I did so alone last night. At least, I know I don't have to rely on others that much to do things. At least, I know I'm not in that state where I have to count on people for everything. But it kind of showed how disappointed I was.. Not very, just a little. How people say things and yet forget them (I'm one of them, I admit). It was cleared later on, though I did not mention this portion. I think there wasn't really a need to show someone all these at this point in time, and how some things are better kept to yourself.As the birthday i/c of the OG, I ought to do more things other than take note of which are the birthdays that are coming up. I am amazed by the artistic talents of people around me and I am feeling extremely inferior about the things I do. So, if I do make things for you, I think you should be honoured. My ideas are always one step behind the rest, or maybe more. Anywayz, I am very amazed by the card Champion made today for Mailing. Very interesting! That's something I can never do. And we had pratas to replace a normal birthday cake today. Interesting birthday! And this shows how boring I am cos I won't do such things..
I kind of forgot the meaning of celebrating a birthday, my birthday. Probably did mention it before but I guess it really feels this way now because I can't really identify since which point of time did this feeling start creeping in. Probably the only things that matters are how the people around me remember the day and they show me more care and concern than they usually do :') This is indirectly admitting I need attention, but heck, who doesn't? If you say no you probably are one of those that do not want to admit how you feel inside.
I am turning 21 soon, in 8 months time. Far but it just got me wondering what am I suppose to do/expect next year.
Gotta do something this December. Not healthy to be like that. Not at all.
And December means Christmas. Christmas means searching for trees. This Christmas is going to be so different. I'm not even sure if it still means the same as before.
While keeping my things the other day, I chanced upon the pictures taken at my Graduation Ceremony in May. I looked like I was happy at that point of time. I could sense how different I was, through photos.
I tend to classify smiles of people in two different categories. The real and the not-so-real one. That smile that I had belonged to the first category. Funny to be classifying myself into categories but well just doing that for fun. I'm not sure if I look so happy anymore. I'm a depressed soul deep down, ha ha.
So the first thing of a person I would be attracted to would probably be the smile. Yes, I look at their face first but that's not what I would be attracted to. There's a difference, I insist. What will you be attracted to? And much as I'm making myself known as the "Girl-who-likes-chest-muscle-a-lot-a-lot", I actually do not look at the chest muscles of guys. That's just a bonus. HAHA. Ok, revealing too much of myself here.
I do not know which are the true sides of myself.
PS: I like listening to the Library of others! More songs. Not restricted to what I have. And my lack of songs made me feel sian of it.
PPS: EXAMS ARE STARTING THIS SATURDAY HAVE FUN. It's like I haven't studied at all.
ying qian ♥ 3:35 AM.